


Sleepwalker

by MiyuTanemura



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Angst, M/M, Not Beta Read, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-08
Updated: 2012-12-08
Packaged: 2017-11-20 15:42:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/586982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiyuTanemura/pseuds/MiyuTanemura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gray has been wandering around ever since.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sleepwalker

Sleepwalker

The noise of moving water reached Gray’s ears. Opening his eyes he took in the place he was in.

It was the beach, this place he found himself in. All of a sudden, water wet his feet and the bottom of his pants.

There were other sounds reaching him, voices, in various emotional states – but they were familiar.

Gray glanced towards the water’s vast darkness, how it couldn’t be told apart from the night sky. Waves crashed against his legs – the tide was rising. It took him an enormous effort but he finally managed to turn towards the shore, to where the sand was clearly visible. _‘Isn’t that odd?’_ he subconsciously noted. _‘It’s night and there is no moon – how can I see…?’_ he wondered. But soon enough none of that mattered for there were two figures ambling by the shore of the otherwise deserted beach. They moved slowly on the strip of wet sand.

It was a familiar scene – he knew it from somewhere but-

_‘Who are those?’_

* * *

The hallway was mostly dark. There was silence which was oppressive and was bearing Gray down. It was stifling, there wasn’t enough air to breathe.

But Gray kept on, he knew he was here for some reason and he _had_ to attain it.

Dizziness overcame him, making him lean on the wall, struggling to remain upright. It was just too much.

_‘No!’_

Gray wasn’t going to give up so staggering slightly he straightened himself up, his outstretched palm still resting against the cool wall. Gray took a step forward, slowly, sweat starting to pearl on his forehead, his dark hair starting to stick to his skin.

He took another step – his throat felt like it would close at any moment.

Light ripped the darkness, illuminating a picture. Someone Gray knew too well, was smiling brightly at him.

He noticed a flash of pink flashing for a couple of seconds, by the corner of his eye.

Then, that voice he knew oh so well spoke.

All of Gray’s muscles locked instantly and he tried to run, to evade, to breathe. All for naught.

A dizzying array of images flashed before his eyes taking him back to the beginning.

The beginning of the end.

Of everything.

Gray tried to close his eyes – to no avail.

He managed to cover them with his arms, sometime later, but noticed that there was saltiness on his lips.

_Tears…_

* * *

The park was quiet.

Nobody wanted to be out in the rain when it was pouring this much.

Not that it was a concern to Gray. Logically he knew that it was raining but none of it hit him. He couldn’t feel a single drop falling against his skin.

He had noticed the concern that was growing on his friends. They had said something about him being drenched moments earlier but they had to be wrong. He could concede that his hair was falling on his eyes but it wasn’t because it was too heavy with water, right? That would be this side of preposterous.

Gray would _know_ if he was wet.

A wave of agony crashed upon him, making Gray curl upon himself. He opened his mouth to yell, to gasp, at the skies but no sound left his parted lips.

_What was going on?_

He staggered towards a nearby tree, left forearm resting heavily against the rough bark. It dug onto his skin yet he didn’t feel a thing…

It was almost as if anything registered anymore. Not after _his_ touch.

Had he been spoiled for anyone else that might come?

The ghost of a fiery hand caressing his arm and back elicited a shiver from Gray. He exhaled loudly.

It was no good.

He felt as if struck in a limbo – not the same before and after having been loved by _him_.

_So, what was left for him now?_

* * *

The concerned mutters continued, surrounding him, a well-meant blanket that his friends were trying to enfold him in. They worried for him, because he wasn’t functioning well anymore – and it was in plain sight.

He barely ate or slept.

Gray just walked in a trance, in a state between awake and asleep and nobody knew how to snap him out of it.

* * *

Gray couldn’t help the bitter smile that settled on his lips as he took himself in, in the mirror. He knew what was happening. And everything was just futile. There was no way for him to get back.

He had tried but unsuccessfully, for every time he tried to move he would run into an immense wall of silence. And as much as he wanted to take it down, he couldn’t.

It was tearing him apart, inside.

So, he only had one move available; to wander mindlessly.

Maybe that way it wouldn’t hurt as much.

Yes, his only option was to close his eyes tightly and continue going through the motions.

This trance would never be broken and so he would just… be…

* * *

Deep down, an anguished voice – that grew thinner with every passing day – yelled desperately, one last resort to bring him back.

* * *

_He knew he was not going to return._

* * *

Though, despite trying to close himself at everything, it didn’t work.

Everywhere he would go would bring forth a memory, the warmth once felt had turned into bitter, painful, coldness.

His whole life, his everyday was now a painful mosaic, tainted by happiness once felt, and it was tearing and tearing Gray into pieces on the inside.

All around him there were ghosts.

Even his – _their_ – friends felt like that. He had had to stop talking to them – it had become just too painful for him.

Even being at home… and he had thrown away everything belonging to _him_. But the traces were still there, glaring and mocking.

Being at home was torture, with all the memories it evoked.

His _room_ was one of the worst places, of course. If he went inside, instantly the feel of warm arms would enclose around him, an arm curling around his waist and one hand splaying possessively on his bare stomach. Phantom warm breath would caress Gray’s ear before the side of his neck was licked and bit and sucked upon until there would be a bruise. Claiming, marking.

The sensuous touch would undo him – even if it was just an echo of something long past.

The scent that permeated the room was still strong and heady, no matter how many times the window had been wide open to create some sort of current that would cleanse the room or how much Gray had cleaned the room with chemical agents.

It wouldn’t go away.

In result, Gray spent less and less time in the bedroom.

Not that the rest of the house was much better. Every room would have some effect over him.

How they had lain entwined on the couch; their playfulness in the kitchen while they fixed something to eat or how water would be splashed in the bathroom, at the wrong moment more often than not, but that would end up in a mock water fight. How they would laugh afterwards as they cleaned up.

But, and most of all, the impromptu bouts of lovemaking, the secrets and promises exchanged in nearly every surface and room of the house, were the worst.

So, Gray would curl himself in one of the loveseats (the one they usually didn’t use) and sleep for a couple of hours.

He had thought about leaving yet he couldn’t leave the place. He was bound since it was still his home, which had once been _their_ home.

As a result, he would end up walking around the town during the day. Feeling lonely and miserable in the middle of the crowd. Not that he noticed it – the world around was a myriad of grey shades walking by.

The loneliness was getting to him, though, making Gray recede into himself, cursing having broken to anyone else. There was no hope for him…

And Gray felt lost.

Once again.

It hadn’t been enough that his life had been turned into shambles not just once but _twice_. The moment he finally settled into something good – life threw the final piece at him. The one that finally broke him.

Gray was hanging on by a fine thread and knew it.

The shadowy world not mattering anymore. Because, in the end, reality and memories were mixing together in such a way that Gray’s grasp was slipping.

_Who knew what was dream and reality anymore._

* * *

One day Lucy finally managed to bring him to one of their get togethers. She had been such a pain that he had agreed just to make her go away.

Gray went, putting up his _‘I’m okay’_ front. For a couple of moments everything was okay. His self-imposed isolation didn’t exactly quench his need for social interaction and the lighthearted conversation was doing a good job in distracting him.

That until the moment the door closed ominously.

The chatter diminished slightly and people focused on the newcomer.

Gray’s breath caught in his throat and he froze.

_‘No no no, not this, it can’t be happening, not now!’_ he thought, the walls closing in on him and he started to feel what he thought was a panic attack.

_Natsu…_

* * *

_Let me out of this dream._

**Author's Note:**

> Something my bunnies came up with while listening to Adam Lambert’s song, Sleepwalker. It was also a way for me to procrastinate on the load of to-write fics. ^^'  
> The story’s unbeta-ed so far.  
> I hope you enjoy it and some feedback would be nice. ^^


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